I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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