OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
