Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
