I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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