Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
