Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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