We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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