the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
