It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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