the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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