Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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