Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
