So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
