I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
