Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize