Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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