I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i now understand why vodka
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
