Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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