I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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