You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
These tits shall not be calmed
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize