found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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