there was a trapeze. enough said
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
