so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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