it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
