Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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