omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
time to smoke my breakfast
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
