I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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