She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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