when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
