What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
