I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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