I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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