I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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