ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
