Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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