1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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