I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
