My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
