"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
