I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want her autograph on my taint
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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