If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Randomize
