Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
