If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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