he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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