you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize