So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
