Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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