You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
