he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
