He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
