How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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