I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
