I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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