Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize