I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
