Can i not drive my cunt home
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize