Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
