one might say we're banned from that church
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
