I wish life had little blips of pornography
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
